The Heart Will Know
by snowzone5
Summary: AU sequel to "Wait A While". Takes place about fifteen years after that story. El has proof that Mike is cheating on her. She sees further proof and realizes that it's really over between them. Mike claims he's not cheating, but he can't stop El from moving on. Extreme angst and mileven.
1. Chapter 1 - Pain

**Pain**

El could feel herself vibrating with excitement.

During the exhibition at the gallery, two incredible things had happened. Mike's publisher, now also hers, had commissioned another book of photographs, and told her she could start by taking photos at the gallery during her show. He made the offer because he'd found out from the gallery curator that every single one of her prints had sold.

He had told her months ago that there were two mortal sins when it came to photography, one, not believing in your photos, and two not charging enough for your work. So she had worked with the curator on the pricing for the prints. She had been shocked at the figures he was coming up with. He told her they were going to be a little on low side, but because this was her first showing, they were "priced to sell".

Well, she thought, they sold. She had made what she thought was a small fortune. Both the curator and her publisher told her this kind of news would spread quickly through the art world. They said her next showing would probably make her a rich woman and cement her career.

She was now looking through the candid shots she had taken during the show, making three stacks. She found it much easier this time choosing photos she really wanted people to see, compared to the ones where the composition just wasn't working. A middle stack of ones she needed to look over again.

Two weeks before her first show, her excitement had made it hard for her to choose the photos that would be processed into a larger format for the gallery. She had been given full control of the theme and content. Mike's publisher said he would take care of all the details so she could concentrate on the subject of the exhibition itself. The showing would take place in Chicago which thrilled El even more. She and Mike could drop in on her twin sister Jane and Dustin. They wouldn't be expecting them, They four of them could go out to dinner and catch up.

Mike.

It was all his doing. He had suggested that her photographs were good enough to be on display at a show. He had supported her from the very beginning when she had expressed interest in getting a camera. He made sure that she had a camera that was way beyond her capability. She had protested at first until she heard his reasoning. Mike told her that she would quickly grow into, and possibly surpass what the camera could do for her, but they would deal with that when the time came.

Mike had done the technical research on cameras, but he explained everything to El. He made sure she actually understood and didn't just take her nods as an indication that she did. She loved the way Mike was so patient with her. Not just with details like that, but with everything.

She just loved Mike, period. She still felt bad that the first words she ever said to him were "go away". He looked like she and just punched him in the stomach. Then, later at the bike rack he had apologized like it had been his fault. And she responded to his apology by telling him not to talk to her. She was sure Mike had looked like he was about to start crying, and if he had, El knew she would have followed suit.

El had fallen in love with Mike the very first time she had looked at him. She had known at that moment, the phrase 'love at first sight' was true. So totally true, it hurt to even think about how completely she had fallen in love that day. She had tried to smile at him, but saw how her sister was looking at him and decided it was not going to happen between her and Mike. El smiled to herself when she remembered that she had tried to psychically beam her love to him, but she knew that, at least in this universe, she didn't have any psychic powers.

It had all worked out in the end.

Mike was the kindest, most loving person she had ever met. His deep gentle eyes made her weak in the knees everytime he looked into hers.

Her breath would catch when he smiled at her.

When he kissed her, the fluttering in her heart made her feel like she would faint at any second.

And every time he said, "I love you, El," The world disappeared and there was only the two of them sharing their souls. El would suffer through an inner battle to keep from crying. Mike would sense this and pull her into a hug. El would instantly lose the battle and cry on his shoulder. Almost every time.

It had been El's suggestion that they move in together. Her dad moved back to the lake, and let them have the cabin. All their friends had wondered what had taken them so long.

El dragged her eyes back to the black and white photos and her attention back to the task at hand. One particular photo was an intimate one of a private moment between a couple.

They were kissing. Not an intense passionate kiss, but a simple, "I am yours", loving kiss. It was a couple deeply in love and stealing time together at a busy function. The guy had one hand on her hip the way Mike would do when he kissed her, and the other hand on the small of the girl's back as if to pull her in protectively, a little closer. Just like…

El's blood ran cold.

Just like Mike would hold her. Just like Mike would kiss her. The girl's head was mostly in shadow as El had intended, and most of Mike's was also, but she'd recognize that mop of hair of his anywhere. She recognized the way he held the girl.

El's eyes lost the struggle to contain her tears. She was going to be sick. Violently sick.

She ran to the bathroom and barely made it before her stomach heaved up it's contents.

Long after she'd emptied her stomach, she continued to dry heave between hitching sobs.

El managed to whisper one word before she fainted and sagged to the floor.

"Mike."


	2. Chapter 2 - Want

**Want**

Jane had waited long enough.

Fifteen years with Dustin and she was tired of him. He'd gone from a boring dead end job as a teacher in that armpit of a town called Hawkins, to a different dead end job in Chicago as the director of an animal rescue operation.

Dustin bored the shit out her and she was tired of it. He was more interested in his cats than he was in her p-. She grimaced and thought to herself, "No need to crude Jane. That part of your life is over with Dustin."

Truth was she had barely been in love with him from that day back in school. She had faked it well. When she saw Mike and El together in the AV room, saw how they seemed to have known and loved each other for years, she knew then that she really was in love with Mike Wheeler. She was lonely and stayed with Dustin. That was the only way she was going to be able to see Mike at all. She had thought for sure that Mike would have just given in when she claimed that he was her boyfriend. But Mike only had eyes for El. He was downright rude and insulting to Jane.

She let it roll off her back. If she had ever gotten Mike alone, she would let him feel her up in the AV room, and then she knew she'd have him. El would die of embarrassment to even think of Mike with wandering hands. That's where Jane knew she had the advantage, guys could not resist the temptation if Jane showed a little flesh. All for a good cause. Hers.

She had to admit that Dustin had been fun, he was always making her laugh, and he _was_ devoted to her. And he was great in bed. But he wasn't devoted to her like Mike was devoted to El. Mike's devotion to El was on a different, metaphysical level that Jane was jealous of. She would admit that too.

And she wanted it with Mike. She had waited for Mike to get over the wallflower that was her twin sister. She waited for him to realize that El could never satisfy him in bed like Jane could. Sure the sex would be mind blowing for them, Jane would make sure of that but he would eventually grow to love Jane like he loved El, if he still did. Jane found it hard to believe that Mike was still enamoured with El's quiet innocence.

They weren't even married yet, so how much could he love her?

An idea planted itself in her mind. Jane could buzz her hair like she figured El was still doing. She was an identical twin, she could act like El and then slowly become herself and Mike would never know.

El would be heartbroken for sure. But she could grow her hair longer and entice another guy easily. After all, El was as pretty as Jane was, she looked identical to her and Jane knew she'd could bed any guy she wanted. Jane felt a twinge of guilt, but only a twinge. Besides Dustin would be available then, she was sure he could make the switch. It's not like El would be alone.

No, Jane had waited long enough. She wanted Mike, and Jane _always_ got what she wanted.

She knew it was meant to be when she saw the announcement in the entertainment section in the paper. The timing couldn't be more perfect. It was a sign to her that Mike was meant to be hers.

"First showing of the fabulous black and white photography of El Hopper"

Along with a picture of El. Enough for Jane to copy her look.

She knew Mike would be following after her like a lost puppy. This was almost going to be too easy.

* * *

If there were a who's who listing of pretentious snobs in Chicago, Jane was sure that at least everyone in this wing of the gallery were on it. She wanted to punch the women in the face, and ram her knee up to the guys were it counted.

It was crowded enough that she could avoid El. The problem was isolating Mike so she could pull him into a corner.

A lot of people stopped her as she was wandering around, circling her way to Mike. She was very polite and quiet like she knew El would be, saying her thank you's as humbly as possible. If it went on much longer she was going to be ill.

It struck her that this was not El's crowd. She'd never be able to keep this up if her career, if you could call photography a career, took off. She always went to Mike's book signings, but stayed in the background. Jane has been to one when it took place in the city.

Jane wasn't close to El, at one point she thought they might be, but Mike had changed all that. She knew that El didn't stand a chance if Jane decided she wanted Mike. But she hadn't considered that Mike would go for the shy type. And for sure she thought El's buzzed hair would make her a pariah in the school. The exact opposite of all that hadn't crossed her mind.

Once El and Mike were a couple in school, overnight, dozens of girls were interested in Mike, and guys ogling El were coming out of the woodwork. It was obvious that neither of the two were interested in anybody else. Jane could taste the jealousy on her tongue. But she wanted to taste Mike.

She would tonight if she had her way.

She could see Mike taking a bit of a breather from all the schmoozing he was doing. He was at the back of the gallery. Jane quickly made her way towards him. He smiled when he saw her. Those eyes. She felt tingly.

She pulled him farther back into a corner with the intention of putting her tongue down his throat letting him know she wanted him. But…

Mike put one hand on her hip, and another gently at her back and gave her a simple, sweet kiss. Jane suddenly felt a little wobbly at the knees. This is the way he kissed El. This is what it was like to be kissed by someone who loved you so completely.

Jane thought she heard the click of a camera. Someone had taken a picture of them kissing. It would only help.

"I'm so proud of you, I love you El."

Jane smiled back at him weakly, and hurried away from him. "I have to go."

"I want him," Jane thought, tears in her eyes.. "I want him to love me like he loves El. I _want_ him. I will do anything to get him. El had her chance, now it's mine."

She didn't feel guilty about El. Not anymore. To have Mike eclipsed all that for her. Once she was with him, they could help El find someone else. Dustin as still a good compromise.

She knew that once Mike had slept with her, it would be all over for El. She needed to make that happen soon.

Her mantra was relentless.

"I want Mike."


	3. Chapter 3 - Cheating

**Cheating**

Mike knew that El was going to be completely out of her element. He'd done enough book signings, and attended enough exhibitions of Will's art to know the kind of upper crust that would be present,

Not that he underestimated her. He was just looking out for her. After fifteen years, she was still the quiet, shy girl he had fell in love with that first day.

El's shyness transformed to bold adventurer when she had her camera, it was her talisman. She was wearing it at the gallery, and she was _on_. He'd never seen this side of El before. Mike wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He didn't dislike it, but he was uneasy. He thought she was still vulnerable. Today itt looked like she was nothing of the sort.

In this room she didn't need him. She was fine on her own.

At one point she made her way to him, saw his face and said, "you ok, Mike?"

"You are a natural here, El. You look completely at ease in with everyone." Mike said. El could hear the worry in his voice.

"Mike," she said smiling, in case the art press snapped her photo, "I'm terrified. I think I'd be paralyzed if you weren't here with me. I'm sure I'm going to have to burn my clothes I'm sweating so much."

Mike laughed. He leaned in and gave her an exaggerated sniff "You still smell pretty, so don't worry."

"That's why you're here, I need the confidence boost." She rose up on her toes, upturned her face and gave him a quick kiss.

"I love you Mike. I'm going back to mingling." Wait staff came around with a tray of champagne, El grabbed one, winked at Mike nodded towards the tray.

Why not? Mike thought, and grabbed one of the tall stemmed glasses.

It tasted like crap, "who drinks this stuff?" Mike crinkled up his nose and said to no one in particular.

Mike was surprised that a few people actually recognized him. He didn't think the art world paid much attention to his books, maybe the covers that Will did, but certainly not the pages in between. Mike wasn't sure this particular crowd would actually admit to reading one of his books anyway. Mike figured there'd be at least ten pounds of diamonds, possibly most of it paste. El wasn't nearly big enough in art circles for them to wear real diamonds.

Mike was proud of El. He'd been serious when he suggested she show her work. It was unique, something that could only come from her creativity.

El came up to him breathless, "I made a sale Mike!" She gave him another quick kiss through her wide grin, and moved on.

Even if she never sold another print, this was just what she needed for her hobby, it would be springboard her from hobby to career. He was happy for her, she was enjoying this night.

A little later in the night, Mike heard his name again. He turned around it was El, "I made more sales." She looked nervous.

"That's great El, how many more?"

"All of them." She said, he could barely hear her above the chatter of the gallery. She looked a little bewildered, it was happening so fast.

"You are talented El, I'm not surprised. I was hoping you'd sell something. If you sold all of them, it's going to make news in the art world. I'm going to be the boyfriend of a famous photographer, I was hoping for supermodel, but this will do." He said grinning.

El swatted his arm, "it's photographers and cloths designers who make the the supermodels, Mike. Don't forget it."

Mike thought he would grab another glass of champagne, but instead opted for heading toward the back of the gallery to give himself a little distance from the rest of the patrons.

He saw El making her away towards him, she looked a little different, possibly flushed from all the excitement. He gave her a smile and she pulled him back into a corner.

He turned to her and put a hand on her hip, the other at the small of her back and pulled her in, kissed her softly. He felt her give into his kiss. She felt different. Like she wasn't used to the way he kissed her. Probably the champagne blurring his judgement, although he was sure the one glass wasn't near enough to affect him. Obviously El was not quite herself tonight, she had to be _on_ for most of the event, and that had never been easy for her. Tonight seemed to be taking its toll.

"I'm so proud of you, I love you El."

El gave him an odd smile and said, "I have to go." She went back to working the crowd.

* * *

"Are we going to have to move to the big city?" Mike said to El on the way home.

"No, Hawkins is my home. I feel grounded there. You would be ok to move?" El asked tentatively.

"I'd go anywhere with you El. I can write anywhere, I have travel all over the country anyway my home is with you."

"Oooh, good answer, Mike" El laughed. She was having a hard time keeping the grin off her face. Her first show and been an enormous success. Much better than she had hoped. Her publisher wasn't the least bit surprised.

He had told her, "I don't take on clients unless I know they will be successful. I didn't need Mike's endorsement, once I saw your photos I knew I had another client."

And MIke was going to be with her every step of the way. It filled her heart to bursting, knowing that she would be sharing all of this with him.

* * *

Mike was a little late getting back to the cabin.

When he walked in and saw stacks of photos on the coffee table, he smiled. El was already working on her next show in New York, this was going to be a big one.

He sat down on the sofa. El walked in the room. She didn't come over to kiss him or even say hello. She went over to the kitchen counter and poured herself a glass of water.

"El? Something wrong?"

She looked at him. Her eyes were red rimmed. She'd been crying. Uh oh, Mike thought. Maybe the New York show and fallen through.

"Friends Don't Lie. Mike," she looked down.

"Are you cheating on me?"

"What!?" Mike was floored. He had no idea where this was coming from.

"Middle stack, top photo." El said quietly.

Mike saw the photo, and smiled, someone had snapped Mike kissing her.

"That's a beautiful shot, of us. It almost looks like one you'd take."

"I _did_ take it… who were you kissing Mike? You know what? Don't answer. I don't want to know. That shot shows you kissing someone you love, Mike. And it's not me."

El started to cry. Mike heard the deep sadness in her voice.. "It's not me."

Mike got up and walked over to hold El, or kiss her, something, anything to reassure her.

"Don't touch me, Mike."-


	4. Chapter 4 - Need

**Need**

"Don't touch me, Mike." El's voice was cold.

"El, I was kissing _you_!"

"Mike don't insult me, didn't you hear me? _I_ took that shot."

"I don't understand, about an hour before that… kiss, you told me you had sold all the prints. I went to the back of the gallery to get out of the crowd of people in there. You came by and pulled me farther back into a corner. And I kissed you, the way I always do."

"Mike," El was exasperated her voice had no energy behind it. . "I'm telling you it wasn't me."

"But, who else there would look like you. It looked like you El, same hair you are unique that way, it… oh. Shit."

El raised an eyebrow at him.

"Could it have been Jane?" Mike said unsure. There had definitely been something different when he had kissed El that night. It _felt_ different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

El ticked off her fingers, "One, Jane didn't know we were there. Two, if that was Jane and for some reason she decided to cut her hair like mine, something I'm not sure Jane's vanity would allow her to do. But assuming she did, she had a full head of her curly hair when we went to visit her and Dustin the next day. It didn't grow back that fast, Mike. Three, it's been, what, fifteen years since she pulled that stunt in school. Her and Dustin are happily married, we've only seen them a few times, suddenly she decides she wants you, with this elaborate plot. Come on, Mike. "

Mike looked down, "I thought I was kissing you El. I would never cheat on you. I love you. You know that. I would not throw away what we have."

"I want to believe that Mike, I really do, but you were kissing her. Look at that photo, it wasn't the first time you kissed her. Anybody can see that. Now I have to wonder if you've been sleeping with her too."

"No, El, no. I would never cheat on you. And I wouldn't lie to you either. I don't know what else to say." Mike walked back to the sofa, put his face in his hands.

How had it all gone to shit so quickly? El didn't believe him, everything he said sounded like an excuse. Really poorly constructed ones at that. Mike wouldn't have believed them himself if he'd heard them.

The worst part… the worst part was that now telling El he loved her was just adding salt to her wound. She didn't believe he loved her, didn't believe he hadn't cheated on her. Somehow without doing anything, he had badly hurt the girl he loved. The only girl he would ever love. Even if El forgave him somewhere down the road, he would never forgive himself for doing that to her, even by accident.

Mike wiped his eyes, he didn't realize he'd been crying. He couldn't look up at El.

"I'll leave, El. You don't believe me, and I need you to believe me, but," He gestured towards the photograph, "I can't argue against this. I was sure I was kissing you, and if it's not Jane..."

Mike shook his head, he didn't know what to do.

* * *

Mike was coming over from the sofa to hug her. El felt numb when she told him not to touch her. She knew it would make her skin crawl. If he'd been with another girl…

He sounded desperate trying to convince her, after she used her ace, and told him to look at the photo. Coming up with the lame excuse that it might her twin sister Jane.

He looked utterly defeated when she shot down his theory down with hard facts. Mike was a logical guy, so he didn't counter any of her points.

What hurt the most was he still insisted he loved her. She wanted to believe him, but she had taken a good long look at the photo, he loved the girl in that photo, there was no denying it. A child could see that. It wasn't El, so Mike was lying to her. And to himself, if he thought he could fix it by repeating he loved her.

She watched him lower his face into his hands. She heard him crying quietly. Her heart twinged a bit. He was so sincere! One thing she knew about Mike was that he didn't hide his emotions very well, much like herself. He wore his heart on his sleeve. She loved that about him. Could she be wrong? ...but that damned photo!

Mike didn't look up at her when said he would leave. He motioned helplessly toward the photo and shook his head. El could see he didn't know what say or do.

El was sure at that moment that she'd never loved Mike more than she did right then.

She could forgive him.

Her heart needed Mike. She _would_ forgive him. She would not throw away fifteen years of being together. Photographic evidence aside, Mike was so sure… She couldn't discount that. He had never lied to her since they'd been together. She doubted he ever would.

Mike had never so much as looked at another girl when they were together. No sidelong glance at any girl. Even when she was sure that _he_ knew she wasn't looking at him. Mike did not have a wandering eye. El was sure he didn't do it those rare times when he was on his own either. That's why none of this made any sense.

Her gut reaction to the photo hadn't given Mike the benefit of the doubt. She at least owed him that much. He had definitely kissed another girl. That wasn't in question in El's mind, only in Mike's. If he thought he was kissing El, well then _of course_ it would look like he was kissing the girl he loved. Wouldn't it?

There's no way it could have been Jane. What if it was? Could Jane have been harbouring a secret flame for Mike all this time?

"You don't have to leave, Mike."

The look of hope on Mike's face almost made her rush to his side and crush him in a hug.

"But you sleep on the sofa. I can't be with you tonight."

Mike looked down and nodded slowly.

"Ok" His spirit looked beaten down.

"You hurt me, Mike." El said trying to reason. "This doesn't go away or get fixed overnight. I'm not sure it can be fixed until we find the truth."

"I'm sorry El, I would never hurt you on purpose."

El nodded saying nothing and went to the room they'd shared for the last fifteen years. She threw herself on the bed and cried herself to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 - Sorrow

**Sorrow**

Mike got up early, not wanting to wake El. He didn't think he could face the accusations on her face this morning. He was damn sure she wouldn't be able to face what she thought were his excuses. He left her a note.

He took the clunker car they owned, and left the new SUV for El. She used it to carry her photography equipment when she went to a few rugged areas where she was working on landscape shots.

He would go through his regular routine . Going to the library to do some research for a new book, first stopping off at the mall and get a coffee in the food court. Maybe peruse the book store while he was there.

Mike didn't really feel like doing anything. Without El there wasn't any point. He would have nobody to bounce ideas off. Nobody to talk to about absolutely nothing. Nobody to comfort him if he had a particularly bad day. Nobody _to_ comfort if they had a bad day.

He sat at a lone table, near the end of a row to keep away from others. He looked down at his coffee. Overnight his heart and gone from a feeling of bright saturated colours filled with wonder and love, to a sepia toned existence filled with misery and sorrow.

"What am I gonna do?" Mike said to his coffee. If he lost El, then he was lost himself. He couldn't come back from that kind of loss. El meant too much to him. He knew he'd be single for the rest of his life if El left him.

He looked up and saw her walking towards his table. She looked a little flushed, her hair looked a little shorter, so maybe she'd had it buzzed just before she arrived.

She said, "I'm sorry Mike."

"But you still don't believe me."

She reached for his hands on the table and held them. "Let me make it up to you, let's go to a motel, and I'll show you how much I love you."

"What!? Last night you didn't want me to touch you and now you want to go to a sleazy motel for make up sex? What's going-" Mike's cell phone rang.

"What's that?" She said.

"It's called a cell phone," Mike said as he pulled out his Nokia, they were all the rage with business types and nerds.

"Hi, Dustin, little busy right now, can I call you back?"

"Hey ole buddy ole pal, screwing anybody's wife right now? You know, like… mine?"

"What are you talking about Dustin?"

"She even buzzed her hair for you. Was that your fantasy, doing identical twins at the same time? Hey you little asshole, why don't you go fu-" Mike hung up on Dustin when he realized who sat across the table from him.

"It was you I was kissing at the gallery wasn't it? How could you do that to Dustin?"

"I love you so much, Mike. I have since that very first day. Let me prove it to you, let's go-"

"...And how could you do that to your sister?"

"She can't do the things for you I can, Mike."

"Jane, you're disgusting. For the record and not that it's any of your business but El and I have a healthy sex life. Well, we did before you screwed everything up. I can't even look at you right now. I'm finished with you." Mike got up.

As he turned around he saw El looking at him from the behind a mall kiosk, her hand went to her mouth, he could hear her bawling from this far away, she turned and ran off.

"Ah shit. Shit. _Shit_."

He looked back and Jane, she looked desperate, she had started to cry. Mike just shook his head and ran after El but he lost her in the throngs of people milling around.

* * *

El's eyes felt crusty. She must have been crying in her sleep also. All those tears drying in place.

She got up, she needed to see Mike again, to talk to him.

He was gone, probably giving her space. She stole a glance at the damning photograph, she saw a note clipped to it.

 _El,_

 _I am nothing without you._

 _Don't give up on me._

 _Please._

 _I will love you forever,_

 _Mike._

Mike never left her long notes, only short simple ones, full of love. And he always wrote them on old paper, like El did. They left notes to each other regularly.

El had a collection of "I will love you forever" notes from him. She would never get rid of them.

"I won't give up on you Mike," El whispered. She dressed quickly, and ran to the car. She had to see MIke, to tell him that she believed him and that she trusted him. That she loved him. She would love him forever.

El had never been so shaky while driving. She found herself weaving all over the road, tears were making it hard to see properly. She knew she was driving too fast.

She was sure that Mike would stick to his daily routine, even if he didn't feel much like working on his craft. Mike was dedicated in a way that El knew she could never be with her work.

El made her way to the food court where she knew Mike would be sitting with a coffee. She smiled when she saw him sitting near the end of a row, but her smiled disappeared when she saw the look on his face. He looked so lost. He hung his head and stared as his coffee.

Her bottom lip started to tremble, and the she saw someone sit down opposite Mike. El couldn't get a good view because she had sidestep behind a mall plant beside a kiosk to avoid being seen. She didn't want Mike thinking she was spying on him.

The girl was holding Mike's hands. El's vision blurred and she thought she was going to be throw up right there beside the plant. Instead she put her hand to her mouth to stifle her crying. She was crying loudly now, attracting attention.

Mike got up from the table turning towards her. When they made eye contact El, turned and ran, she had to get away from him as fast as possible.

How could she have so blind? He had put on a good performance at the cabin, but that's all it was. The photo didn't lie, he was kissing a girl he loved.

El didn't want to think about it, but he'd probably already slept with her.

"I hope it was good for you Mike because I am done with you, you piece of shit."

El had a new plan. She was going to systematically remove Mike Wheeler from her life.


	6. Chapter 6 - Loss

**Loss**

El went back to the cabin. She removed everything Mike owned. She put it all outside the door of the cabin. She covered it with a tarp but she didn't care if it got wet when it rained. Mike would have to make several trips to his car in order to take it all.

Her next stop was the bank. El had a joint bank account with Mike. She would open another account of her own, and move exactly half from the joint account into her own, and them remove herself from the joint account.

She was done with Mike. Done. It sounded so final that El broke down and had to pull over to the side of the road. She was hitching so badly she couldn't catch her breath. When she thought she could manage, she put the SUV in drive and continued on the road.

El had to wait for a few minutes in the line-up, but when she finally got to a teller, she explained what she wanted to do, and the teller punched in her name into the terminal.

"Oh." the teller said.

"Is something wrong?" El asked.

"No, not exactly, but your account has been flagged. Um, any changes to the account require a meeting with an account manager. It's standard for special accounts, nothing to worry about.

"Special accounts? I thought a joint account would be common?" El said not understanding what the problem was.

"They are, your account is a little different. Please go over to that door, and I will buzz you in to see your account manager." The teller was very polite. This was all routine for her.

El had few minutes sitting in the chair across from the account managers desk. When he came in he apologized, "sorry Miss Hopper, I was with another client."

He sat down in front of his own terminal, and punched in her name. "Ah, I see."

"Is there anything wrong?" El was worried again. "I just wanted to open and account and transfer half of the amount in the joint account."

"And we can do that for you easily. We can't open an account in your name however."

"Why not?" El had no idea what was going on.

"There's already an account in your name, this particular computer system won't allow a second account in the same name. Hmm, there's a note here that says there's also two safe deposit boxes in your name. I'm authorized to tell you the contents of first one, but the you will have to open the second in the private viewing room."

"What's in the first one?" El was completely bewildered.

"The deed to a house in your name, stocks in a computer company called Apple, a trust fund certificate for you to start collecting ten thousand a month if," The manager lifted his glasses and took a closer look at the computer screen, "a little odd, but we've seen special notes before, if a Mr. Mike Wheeler is… gone."

"Your husband must love you very much, he's invested most of his earnings in your name, put a generous amount of money in your own account. He's made sure that you and your father would be well taken care of in the event he was no longer around. I _am_ sorry for your loss, Miss Hopper."

But we're not even married, El thought to herself. And why was he driving a car that had seen better days? She knew Mike wasn't swayed by the trappings of success. Mike was the most down to earth person El knew. And he was hers… El stopped.

But he cheated on me.

"Can I see the second safe deposit box?"

"Of course, follow me."

The manager led her to a private room. Pulled out the box and gave her the key. He left, closing the door behind him.

With a little trepidation, El opened the box. There was only a photograph in it.

It was a picture Jonathan had snapped of Mike kissing her at the Snowball. She was wearing the blue wristband her dad had given her. She'd lost it years ago and was too ashamed to tell him or Mike that she'd lost it.

She remembered, she had been breathless when he had kissed her. It was the first time Mike had told her he loved her.

She turned the photo over, on the back was written, "El, I will love you forever. I promise."

For the third time that day El cried. Her soul was mourning out a threnody. "Oh, Mike… why?"

Maybe he was telling the truth? He had smiled when he first saw the photo, it was the same gentle smile he gave her all the time. She had called her sister when she had first seen the photo and cried on the phone to her for over an hour. Jane had sounded almost patronizing trying to placate her.

Then she saw him at the mall.

To be fair, Mike didn't look all that happy to see her. Was he breaking up with her? El held a small sliver of hope, maybe she could save their relationship. She didn't know if she could ever forgive cheating, maybe he hadn't slept with her yet.

But why would he cheat in the first place? It didn't make any sense. They loved each other. Mike was the kindest most loving person she knew. He was totally dedicated to her. He doted on her hand and foot.

They _never_ argued. They just didn't disagree on anything. They knew their relationship wasn't normal and they were both ok with it.

Was El willing to give that up without at least talking to Mike again? She would never find anyone like Mike again, she knew that in her heart. If she lost Mike she would stay single for the rest of her life. He had loved her unconditionally from the very first day.

She couldn't give that up. There _had_ to be an explanation.

El put the photo back in the box, locked in and secured it back in the wall.

She left the room and went back the account managers office to return the key.

"Was everything in order?" The manager asked.

El nodded.

"Again, I'm sorry for your loss."

"He's not lost to me yet," El said with a new determination on her way out.

As she drove back to the cabin she kept repeating to herself, "I love him, and I will _not_ lose him. I will love him forever."

It was almost an hour later, by the time she got back to the cabin. All of Mike's things were gone.

There was no note.


	7. Chapter 7 - Deceit

**Deceit**

No note.

El was sure that Mike had given up. A profound sadness was overtaking her spirit.

Mike had given up on her.

This morning it would have been what she wanted, although it was something she never imagined he would do. He had always respected her wishes. This time was no different. Mike must have felt that there was no hope for them.

She entered the cabin feeling numb. As soon as she'd taken off her jacket the phone rang. She ran to it hoping it would be Mike.

"I found her curly wig"

"Dustin?" El had no idea why he would be calling.

"Today I think I lost my best friend and my wife at the same time for the same thing. I neglected her. The both of us are paying for it. I'm sorry El." He said.

"What are you talking about Dustin."

"Jane, she buzzed her hair to look like you. I think she's after Mike again, probably for the same reason as last time fifteen years ago. It's my fault. You have to find Mike and tell him."

El realized now that Mike has been telling the truth. He hadn't lied to her.

"Dustin, you know what she gets like when she's lonely. She not herself at all. Will you take her back? Even if she slept with Mike?"

"Yes," Dustin said in a quiet voice, "it is beyond my comprehension that you two ever got in this situation. I know it's my fault. I don't know what I can do to fix this. That's why I called. Will you take Mike back? Even if he slept with her? "

El didn't hesitate, "in a second. He thought it was me. He didn't cheat on me."

It was more urgent than ever to find Mike and to forgive him for something he thought he'd done. She was feeling frantic.

Suddenly there was an insistent pounding on the door.

"Hold on Dustin, someone at the cabin door. Don't hang up, it might be Mike."

El set the phone down and ran to the door.

El wrenched open the door and was looking at her mirror image.

"I didn't sleep with him, El." Jane was looking down.

"I don't think I would have... I'd like to think I wouldn't have. When he kissed me, he thought I was you, he was kissing you, not me. If that's how he kisses you… holds you… you are so lucky." Jane hung her head and started to cry softly. "I'm so sorry, El."

"Jane…" El said. She couldn't be angry with her sister right now. "What were you thinking? You may have ruined the lives of four people by your deceit. Because that's what it is Jane. Your selfish deceit."

"Four?" Jane said in a whisper.

"Yourself included, Jane. You deceived yourself."

"Nobody is going to forgive me this time are they?" Jane said in a distant voice. She was shutting down.

"I can't speak for Mike, and maybe not Dustin. But I will, Jane. You may have cost me my soulmate," El's voice hitched for a second, "but I will forgive you. You are my sister and I love you. I _will_ be very angry with you for a long time. I forgive you."

She held out her arms. Jane started to sob heavily before she was pulled into a tight hug from her sister.

"I don't deserve any of you."

"Dustin is on the phone right now. Talk to him, I have to go find Mike." El checked to make sure she had her keys and ran out the door.

Jane walked to the phone lying on the table and picked it up with trepidation.

The first words she heard from Dustin were, "I love you Jane." She burst into a fresh set of tears.

* * *

After Mike lost El in the mall, he searched a few stores he thought she might be hiding in. He finally gave up and he headed for the cabin. It was her comfort place, she would go back to where she felt safe.

Once he got there he saw what looked like all his possessions out on the porch. They had a tarp on them, but some of hit had blown free and his things were getting soaked from the morning rain.

When his cell phone rang, it was his bank account manager, telling him that El had requested to move half the money in their joint account. She was removing herself from his life.

El was done with him.

What had come over Jane that she thought Mike would be the least bit interested? Sure she looked like El, but she was not El. Mike didn't want to be with her. He didn't think he could even be in the same room with her now. It looked like he'd never see El again. An overwhelming sadness enveloped Mike. He had lost El. How had their love unraveled so completely?

It took Mike over an hour to truck everything from the cabin's porch to his clunker. Everything was soaked, but it would dry out.

Once the the tears had started, it made it hard for him to see as he trudged with multiple trips through the woods. The rain did it's best to wash them away from his eyes. It was losing the battle. He couldn't think of a time when he was not going to be crying. It wasn't going to be today. Likely he would never stop… because he would never stop loving El.

On his last trip he wrote a note. He realized the futility of leaving it. He didn't want to explain that it had been Jane, in a note. If El didn't believe him before, it would just make her mad that he was trying to use the same excuse, even though Mike knew it was true.

For a fleeting moment Mike thought that if he could get Jane to explain, he'd have a chance. But that was not going to happen, if Jane had buzzed her hair to pull all this off, she was not going to help Mike get El back. He couldn't even talk to Dustin, he'd lost his best friend too. That was bad, but it was minor in comparison.

He had lost El.

Mike's breathing quickened, he felt a pain in his chest. Was he going to die of a broken heart in the middle of the woods? His breath started to hitch. He had really lost El. His vision blurred with hot tears and he bumped into a tree.

Mike dropped to his hands and knees, unable to catch his breath. He was going to be sick. He emptied his stomach and dry heaved for several minutes after that.

His clothes were soaked, he needed to get out of the rain. He didn't feel the cold he was too numb for that. He knew he had to get out of the rain if he didn't want to catch pneumonia.

It was starting to sink in. The permanence. His soul was adrift on the vacuum her loss had created.

El was lost to him.


	8. Chapter 8 - Forgiveness and Forever

**Forgiveness And Forever**

El went to the quarry, sometimes they both went there to get out of the cabin and to watch what they could of the sunset. Mike was nowhere to be found.

She went to the junkyard. Max had told her years later that she had found him there after the last time he thought El had loved someone else. She couldn't even think about that. It was a simple misunderstanding from a note written on an old piece of paper. She'd almost lost Mike that day too. El squeezed back tears that were threatening to take over.

She had to find Mike.

He wasn't at the junkyard. El was almost sure he would have been. He wouldn't have gone back to the mall. She didn't have the Party to help her search this time. She would have to cover any places she thought Mike would be at by herself.

And then it dawned on her. She knew exactly where Mike would be. She drove carefully she didn't want to drive too fast in the rain.

When El saw Mike's old clunker she breathed a sigh of relief. She hoped he would still talk to her. She was scared to death that Mike wanted to make a clean break so he could heal. El didn't know what she would do if that's what he had decided.

The Wheelers had given her keys to their house ages ago. El let herself into the basement door. She heard a noise she didn't quite recognize. When she realized what it was, her tear laden eyes released… it was Mike's heavy sobbing.

He was sitting cross legged in the blanket fort. It must have been there for years. His head hung low. It looked like his arms didn't have the strength to put his hands to his face.

El saw the pile of wet clothes in front of the laundry room, she heard both the washer and the dryer going.

She saw an old piece of paper lying on the floor. El picked it up to read.

 _El,_

 _I'm sorry._

 _I will love you forever. I pro_

Mike hadn't finished the note or signed his name. She could see the tear stain where he would have. This was the note he didn't leave.

El kneeled in front of Mike and sat on her heels. She opened her mouth, but hesitated. She didn't know what to say.

Her heart provided the words she needed. "Mike?"

He looked up at her, "El?"

El was shocked. She barely recognized him. His hair was even more a mess than usual. His eyes were red rimmed, and puffy, his skin was splotchy. Where it wasn't he was pale and a few of the freckles she loved so much showed through. And he smelled awful, like he'd gotten sick on himself. Flowing tears blurred her vision. He looked so lost.

"Do you…" She could barely talk. "...still love me?"

"I never stopped, El." His voice sounded distant, almost like he didn't believe he was actually talking to her.

"It was Jane." They both said at the same time.

Mike nodded. "The damage is done, El. I can't fix that. Jane can't fix it either."

"You were kissing me Mike, I know that now. Jane knows that too. I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong, El.

"I didn't trust you, and I will never be able to make that up to you." El shook her head her voice hitched, she was crying a little harder now . "I didn't trust you. Will you ever forgive me?"

"You never have to ask for forgiveness El. Not for this, not for anything. Your soul is untarnished. It's not your fault." Mike scooted over to hug her. "The photo was impossible to defend against."

"I am _done_ with photography. It has only captured lies for me."

"Don't say that El, you have a great career ahead of you."

El looked at him, "I am _done._ Mike." The look on El's face left little room for argument. Mike had never seen that kind of determination on her face.

Mike nodded again, "ok then… I meant to do this when we got back… I don't have a ring… but I can't wait..." Mike held out her lost blue wristband… "you'll just have to be content being a housewife. I can't lose you again."

El shook her head, "you won't lose me… not ever again… wait… did you just ask me to marry you?" El threw her around his neck and rocked Mike from side to side.

"Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand yes's.. I know we don't need a piece of paper. We've never needed that. I've always been yours, Mike. From that first day in the lunchroom."

El sniffed. "Ugh, and you know you smell like baby barf right?" El laughed through her tears.

"Let's get you cleaned up. I'm not letting you out of my sight again.

* * *

The drive back to the cabin was mostly silent. El drove with one hand, the other was firmly entwined with Mike's.

"Jane's car is still here." El said. "I wonder if that means it didn't go that well with Dustin, he called just before I left to find you."

"Dustin would take her back." Mike said confidently.

El said, "Hmmm, I'm not exactly sure why Jane is still here then. Um, Mike, if it went bad and she needs a place to stay…?"

"We wouldn't turn away family El. She knows she screwed up pretty bad."

El gave Mike a faltering smile, "thanks Mike, that means a lot to me, and it will to Jane too."

El had her arm around Mike's waist on the walk through the woods to the cabin, he seemed to be a little shaky. She knew that Mike loved her. But she was just beginning to realize the depth of his feelings. Hers too. They had both been physically sick at the thought of not being together.

"It's been nagging me at the back of my mind. I couldn't quite put my finger on it." Mike said thoughtfully. "When I kissed Jane, thinking it was you, it was _different_. She didn't kiss me the way you do. Or hold me the same way. That should have been my clue. Alarm bells should have gone off. I think I was feeling so jazzed with your success that night that I didn't think any more of it."

"I've been re-thinking what I said." El looked down. "That photo shows you kissing someone you love, you thought it was me. It's incredible to see. I got to see what other people see. Makes me feel warm inside knowing that. I think… I think that may be the best photo I've ever taken. I captured your love for me. Regardless of the circumstances. Who else can say that?"

"Does that mean you're reconsider?" Mike asked curious.

"I'm done taking photos of people. That was more Jonathan's influence. I'll think about it."

"Whatever you decide…"

"I know, Mike. You have always been there for me. Always."

* * *

When they entered, Jane was sitting on the sofa her head in her hands, crying softly.

She looked up at the two of them briefly then her eyes were downcast. She took a quick glance at El, but she wouldn't look at Mike.

"Are you two… ok?"

Mike looked at El and then went to sit beside Jane on the sofa. "Did Dustin… are _you_ two ok?"

"He did… we are… I have no idea why, after what I did."

"Dustin loves you, that's why. And so do we. What you did is almost unforgivable."

Jane looked up at Mike with tear stained cheeks, her eyes wide and scared.

"I said 'almost' Jane. You are El's sister, and there's no way I would not forgive you. What you did was awful." Mike looked down, "it was really awful, Jane. You almost ruined four lives."

Jane looked down again and nodded. "I can never repay you for the kindness you've shown me. You have no reason to have anything to do with me."

"You can repay me, Jane. You apologize to your sister… and you make it up to Dustin. Those are the two who really count here."

Jane looked back and forth to from Mike to El. "But you almost lost El."

"Maybe, " Mike said as he looked at El, "I think the universe would have brought us back together. I don't think anything can keep us apart. We love each other too much."

El nodded in agreement. She could hardly believe Mike was talking to her sister after what she had done. And forgiving her. Mike was forgiving Jane with no questions asked. She loved them both so much she thought her heart would burst.

Jane got up and went over to El. El pulled her into a tight hug and half whispered to her, "You are so lucky to have a guy like Mike. I didn't realize I had one too. I've really made a mess. I'm sorry El. I never meant to hurt you…"

"If everything is ok between you and Dustin, why… are you still here?" Mike asked Jane.

"I had to talk to you both, I knew El would not come back here without you. I'm meeting Dustin when he gets into Hawkins. Later tonight he's going to come by and apologize to you Mike."

Mike stood up and walked over to Jane, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You be good to Dustin. That will fix more than you know."

Mike and El walked Jane to door and watched her as she trekked back through the woods till she was out of sight.

El turned to Mike, "Thank you. You are so kind. I hate to say this, but… I know why Jane would want you that badly to do what she did. Why any girl would. You are perfect… and… I can't wait to be Mrs. El Wheeler. I am totally and forever yours Mike."

Mike leaned over and gave her a soft kiss.

"I have loved you since the first day I saw you. I will love you forever El. I _promise."_


End file.
